Tuesday, July 31, 2012

OLYMPICS OPENING CEREMONY PARTY & FAMILY ... - blog*spot

Did you get caught up in the excitement of the Olympics over the weekend?? We did!? Our friends (I showed you their lovely home tour here) invited several families over for a watch party for the opening ceremony, and threw in a little Olympic competition family style!

We kicked off the evening with a shrimp boil, enjoyed by young and old alike...

and then the games began!

First, there was the "Which Dad Can Fling His Shoe The Furthest" event...

And then, the "Blindfolded Moms Find Your Children" event...

Followed by the hard fought "Family Tug-of-War"...

The ever popular "Three Legged Race"...

And our events concluded with a spirited game of "Family Kickball"...

After the games were over, we gathered to light the Family Olympic Torch.? The igniting of the torch was similar to the Opening Ceremonies of the 1992 Olympics...fun for all!? The torch flame burned long into the evening...

Thank you to our gracious friends for such a fun-filled evening!

And, to leave you with some pretty images today, here are some of my favorite rooms inspired by the colors of the Olympic Rings.


BLUE
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? Source: traditionalhome.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

YELLOW


BLACK
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? Source: lifeingraceblog.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

GREEN

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ? ? ? ? Source: tobifairley.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

RED

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? Source: ourfifthhouse.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

Go Team USA!

Pin It

Source: http://dimplesandtangles.blogspot.com/2012/07/olympics-opening-ceremony-party-family.html

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??? ???? ?????? ?????? Sufi News and Sufism World Report: Sufis and ...

Sufis and Scholars of the Sea - Book ReviewYemen Post Staff 28th July 2012
There is a need to understand the Indian Ocean area as a cultural complex which should be analyzed beyond the geographical division of Africa, the Middle East, the Indian Subcontinent, and South-East Asia, as its coastal population intermingled constantly. Family networks in East Africa (1860 ? 192, originating in the South Yemeni region of Hadhramawt, the Alawi tariqa, mainly spread along the coast of the Indian Ocean. The book discusses the renowned scholar, Ahmed b. Sumayt. The "Alawis" are portrayed as one of several cultural mediators in the multi-ethnic, multi- religious Indian Ocean world in the era of European colonialism.

*
Indian Ocean had a profound influence on the lives of the people who lived on its shores. Fishermen, sailors, and merchants traveled its waters linking the world`s earlier civilizations from Africa to East Asia in a complex web of relationship.
Trade under-pinned these relationships but the Ocean was also a highway for the exchange of religions cultures and technologies, giving the Indian Ocean an identity as a largely self-contained world. It was the expansion of Hinduism Buddhism, and Islam helped to define the boundaries of the "world" which by the fourteenth and fifteenth centuries was one of the most prosperous and culturally complex regions on earth.
By the sixteenth century, Europeans were part of this "world" as partners in trade with the indigenous peoples. But from eighteenth century this economic relationship changed as the economies of the Indian Ocean "world" integrated with the capitalist economies of the West. The change from commercialism to capitalism ended the insularity of the Indian Ocean "world" and began its integration, as region, into the global economy and its territorial division among various European powers. This transition altered the ancient web of regional cultures. The Ocean was no longer a major force binding the peoples on its shores in a self-conscious entity, but the legacy of the past is still evident in their common religious, cultural and historical experience.
Mwambao is the Swahili name for the East African Coast, the chosen habitat of the Swahili people. The Swahili were called Coast People by the Arabs, and the Swahili Coast was being referred to as "Murudi al Dahab" or Golden Pastures. Numerous bays, creeks, and inlets resulting from coral rock being eaten away by the sea, providing excellent harbors e.g. near Mtwapa, Kilifi, Mombasa and Vanga while the majority of the rivers are in Mozambique. The entire coast is composed of coral rock and most of it provides soft beaches, useful for landing of small crafts. The presence of water in Lamu, for example, helped to cool the hot coast climate; the choice of site ensured a maximum of fresh breeze from the sea upon the sandstone rock.
Regular rainfall has given the coast and the islands south of Equator rich vegetation, unlike the arid Somali coast north of it. Regular trade winds brought sailors and traders in search of resins, and gums for carpentry furniture making, cosmetics, perfume etc. Mangrove poles growing abundantly in the Lamu archipelago were used for ship building and roof beams. Of the animal products, ivory, rhino horn and tine cat perfume were the most sought artifacts already in antiquity. Of mineral products it has been export market for gold, while Ethiopia exported gems such as emeralds, and after year 1100 also coffee.
Arabs were traveling to East Africa with the monsoon from South Arabia and Gulf even in pre-Christian times. The earliest inscriptions were found on the island of Zanzibar c. 1070 AD. There is also the oldest datable discovered mosque in East Africa. Arabs continued to visit the Coast and to settle there throughout the centuries as individual traders, or as empire builders accompanied by large families, or establishing themselves as independent rulers. The Arab were known by their family names, some of which they have planted in African soil. They were identified by the region, Yemen, Oman, Hadhramawt or even by the name of towns, Muscat, Shihr, Mukelle, Aden from which they sprang, even though they may have lived in Africa for generations. They made Pate, Lamu, Malindi, Mombasa and other towns their home.
Mombasa, in the land of the Zanji, boasted wonderful orchards, which contained lemons and banana trees, all of which still grow, and rose apples. Carpets lay on the floors of the guest house. The meal consisted of rice, cooked or fried in butter, dishes of meat, fowl, fish and vegetables, pickles, lemons, bananas, ginger, and mangoes. Similar meals are still served in the Swahili tows today. There were mosques built in coral stones. The Arabs functioned as teachers and preachers, traders or rulers on all parts along the Swahili Coast bringing their own Arabic textbooks for prayer sessions, and hymns to be sung in the mosques.
The numerous elegant dhows connected the colorful ports of the Swahili Coast. Then the creeks were filled with dhows blown down by the monsoons, dhows of all shapes and rigs from Lamu, Bombay, Persian Gulf and from Arabia, some high and dry, some in repair. The dhows, known also as the Silent Wanderers of the sea, were patiently awaiting the southern breezes to blow them back to their homes.
Long ago before petroleum was discovered in the Middle East, incense, fragrant resins, spices and perfumed wood dominated Arab trade. Southern Arabia as the centre of trade prospered and its maritime history is the subject of tales. The talk would be incomplete without mentioning "the Yemeni era", which was an intensely human and cultural civilization that promoted and enriched various facets of social, economic and political life of East Africa. They participated actively in various dimensions of the emerging civilization, including domestic and international trade, underpinned by their vast experience in traveling the world seas.
"Sufis and Scholars of the Sea" is an important text which synthesizes chronological and historic graphical range into its compact frame. The work researches the directly relevant histories of Hadhramawt, Oman and East Africa during 1860 ? 1925 through the life of one of the most influential Hadhrami East African scholar of that period Ahmed B. Sumayt.
Zanzibar`s future, an island off the coast of present day Tanzania, thus was shaped by its geographical position, right in the middle of the Indian Ocean trade routes. It is a place of winding alleys, bustling bazaars, mosques and grand Arab houses, whose original owners viewed each other over the extravagance of their dwellings. It boasts not only natural beauty, rich culture, and breathtaking architecture. Zanzibar during Ibn Sumayt`s time emerged as an important centre of learning in East Africa eclipsing previous centers such as Lamu and Mombasa.
Today Zanzibar is also the name of a town in southern Yemen while Yemeni jewelry is sold in the shops of Zanzibar. Unlike Oman, Hadhramawt (a governorate in the present Republic of Yemen) does not have a history of a colonial power in the Indian Ocean. Hadhramawt is known for its continuous export of people to the land of the Indian Ocean, including the East African coast. They were religious scholars, traders, cultural brokers, whose impact on both recipient and home country is a topic which has aroused much interest in recent years.
To them, the Ocean was no barrier rather a long established arena for cultural and intellectual exchange. With them traveled goods and ideas, word of mouth, and word in writing, fashion, habits, linguistic patterns, and seeds for new agricultural crops. They left their imprint on the place, the most notable being the religion of Islam, and absorbed cultural elements that were not Arab in origin. The Indian Ocean ports were not distant exotic cities but actual real places, and where the human chain, the "silsila", extended through space and time. This is the "world" into which we enter with A.K Bang`s "Sufis and Scholars of the Sea".
The topic of this fine scholarly study is the scholarly exchange of ideas between Hadhramawt and East Africa. It is the history of Islam during the nineteenth and early twenties century. The study beautifully reconstructs the channels through which "Alawis", a Sufi tariqa, originated in the South Yemeni region of Hadhramawt spread along the coast of the Indian Ocean. It discusses and focuses on life of one of the most influential Hadhrami ? East African scholars of the period Ahmed B. Sumayt. Thru Ibn Sumayt`s life, it explores how links were maintained, reinforced, and how their "world" related to other ideas emerging at the same time. How they formed a tight knit, a transoceanic network of individuals linked together by blood, and common experience, which remained open until well into the twentieth century when colonial frontiers came to be decisive factors, when the peoples actually transformed themselves into nations.
It researches what the "Alawis" actually thought in East Africa, what inspired their teachings, its explores their scholarly links, and further the impact of Hadhrami Alawis on nineteenth century East African scriptural Islam. It places the highly scriptural widely traveled and deeply learned tradition of Hadhramawt in East Africa in the frame work of Islamic learning.
The Alawis were traveling widely for seeking out knowledge beyond their local communities, and in Ibn Sumayt`s case, in his mature years he traveled equally wide to spread knowledge. As result families became not only transoceanic, but also trans-regional. Time flies and things change: as nineteenth century drew closer, the Alawis in East Africa, like their fellow residents in the Indian Ocean shores, were exposed to European colonialism.
The central figure of this research, Ahmed B. Abo Bakr b. Sumayt (1860? 1925)-
was one of the most prominent Hadhrami-East African scholars of that period. Born in the Comoro Islands, to a father who had immigrated from Hadramawt, Ibn Sumayt returned to his father?s homeland. But he achieved his greatest fame in East Africa, as a pious man, a scholar, and qadi in Zanzibar. As East Africa came under colonial rule he earned great respect from those British administrators who came into contact with him. It was he - who made them appreciate the true Arab reactions - to foreign rule.
.
Through focusing on the life of Ibn Sumayt and his life within a network, it presents the life "in the middle", of a "man in the middle". Ibn Sumayt is the link between sail ships and oil tankers, between the empires of the monsoon, via the period of European imperialism, and the ear of the notion states. Especially the later half of the nineteenth century when he saw European influence in East Africa and British influence in Zanzibar.

Ibn Sumayt was also a reformer and teacher, at the same time fully aware of developments in the Middle East. We meet him as propagator of improved agricultural methods, and even discussing new breed of crops with friends. However, Ibn Sumayt`s importance lays in his work as qadi and how the Ulama found their place in the "colonial space" as active partners. Ibn Sumayt is presented here as pious and learned man - yet intensely human, who possessed a reputation which extended far beyond the limits of Zanzibar.
"Sufis and Scholars of the Sea" is well researched, focused in excellent presented. It will be of interest to scholars, researchers, students but also as general reading to all those interested in the role and contribution of the Yemeni Hadhrami Arab scholars to the history and culture of the Indian Ocean.
Book Reference
Anne K Bang ? Sufis and Scholars of the Sea, Published by RoutledgeCurzon
ISBN 0-415-31763-0
About Anne K Bang
Is Postdoctoral Research Fellow at the University of Bergen, Norway. Historian of Islamic societies with a special focus on Arabia and the Muslim communities of Eastern Africa as well as the wider Indian Ocean rim. Her research has primarily focused on factors that cause ritual and devotional life, intellectual discourses and political ideologies to change in different Muslim societies. Focusing on the Muslim societies of the Indian Ocean (east/southeast Africa) and Southeast Asia her research has mainly focused on migration and cosmopolitan Muslim societies and the ensuing family- trade- and scholarly networks. She has also worked on Islamic education and on the transmission of scriptural cultural heritage in Africa. In addition, she has worked on the role of Norwegian traders in during the colonial era. She has published several books and articles on these topics.
Irena Knehtl, Sana`a, Yemen

Source: http://sufinews.blogspot.com/2012/07/sufis-and-scholars-of-sea.html

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GoDaddy CEO Steps Down, Scott Wagner Named Interim CEO

GoDaddy-Will-No-Longer-Sell-cn-Chinese-Domain-Names-2GoDaddy CEO Warren Adelman has stepped down after less than eight months on the job. Adelman replaced the beleaguered elephant-killing former CEO, Bob Parsons, and will be succeeded by Scott Wagner of KKR Capstone, a major GoDaddy investor.

Source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Techcrunch/~3/dxDdFKXkNoo/

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Monday, July 30, 2012

HSBC takes $2 billion hit for U.S., UK scandals

LONDON (Reuters) - Revelations of lax anti-money laundering controls at HSBC are "shameful and embarrassing" for Europe's biggest bank, its boss said on Monday, and it may have to pay out well over $2 billion for the scandal and in compensation for UK mis-selling.

HSBC set aside $700 million to cover fines and other costs after a U.S. Senate report criticized it this month for letting clients shift funds from dangerous and secretive countries, notably Mexico.

Chief Executive Stuart Gulliver told reporters the ultimate cost could be "significantly higher".

"What happened in Mexico and the U.S. is shameful, it's embarrassing, it's very painful for all of us in the firm," he said on a conference call. "We need to execute on the compliance changes and then prove ourselves worthy and rebuild this over a number of years. There are no quick and easy fixes."

The Senate report criticized a "pervasively polluted" culture at the bank and said HSBC's Mexican operations had moved $7 billion into its U.S. operations between 2007 and 2008.

"The firm clearly lost its way in this regard and it's right that we apologize," said Gulliver. "Colleagues internally have been aware that this is the backdrop of why we had to change the firm."

The provision ate into first-half underlying profits, which fell 3 percent from a year earlier to $10.6 billion, excluding gains from assets sales and losses on the value of its own debt.

HSBC, which was formed in 1865 and operates in 84 countries, said a new streamlined and centralized structure set up by Gulliver has simplified the bank and made it easier to monitor and enforce standards and compliance.

But it also set aside another $1 billion to compensate British customers for mis-selling them loan insurance, and $237 million to cover payouts to small UK businesses wrongly sold complex interest rate hedging products.

HSBC is also one of more than a dozen banks under scrutiny in a global interest rate-rigging scandal that has rocked the sector and further damaged the reputation of bankers following criticism of their culture and standards.

"It's very unfortunate and deeply concerning that even the banks considered more secure such as HSBC are so seriously at risk," said a top 30 investor in HSBC.

"And the news is still coming out - we have yet to see the impact, if any, of the Libor investigation and HSBC's role in that. It's hard to see how much more bad news the markets can take," said the investor, who asked not to be named.

Shares in HSBC were up 1.9 percent to 541.3 pence at 1350 GMT, lagging a 2.8 percent rise in Europe's bank index.

SOFT CHINA LANDING

The bank said economic headwinds would persist and it expected the euro zone economy to contract in 2012, while the United States would achieve sub-par growth this year and next. China's economy should have a "soft landing" and grow 8 percent or more this year, it said.

U.S. and British authorities have fined fellow UK-based bank Barclays $453 million for manipulating Libor, a benchmark interest rate based on how much banks charge to lend to each other. More banks are expected to be drawn into the investigation into banks submitting false rates from which Libor is calculated daily.

Royal Bank of Scotland's CEO said it is one of the banks in the investigation, and Britain set out the terms on Monday for a reform of Libor, saying urgent change was required.

Thomson Reuters Corp is the British Bankers' Association's official agent for the daily calculation and publishing of Libor.

Gulliver said that as a contributor to Libor and its euro zone equivalent Euribor, HSBC was cooperating with regulators, but it was too early to say what the outcome would be or to estimate the potential cost for the bank. No-one at HSBC had been fired or suspended over any Libor issues, he said.

HSBC is in talks to settle the investigation into its U.S. anti-money laundering compliance with the U.S. Department of Justice and other regulators. "It may take several more months to come to fruition," Gulliver said.

The bank said it could clawback some past bonuses from staff involved in the problem, but declined to comment if that could include former Chief Executive Michael Geoghegan.

Gulliver is mid-way through a deep overhaul to cut costs, sell or shrink unprofitable businesses, and to direct investment to faster growing Asian markets.

It has cut 27,000 jobs since the start of 2011 and sold or closed 26 business in that time, including sales of its U.S. credit card businesses and half its U.S. branches.

HSBC has been running down its U.S. loan book for years, but said it was unlikely to be able to drain out surplus capital from its U.S. operations until "well into the future".

Gulliver said he was aware of the investigation into its U.S. compliance problems in 2010 before he took over, and that shaped some of his restructuring. This also includes centralizing control functions over a bank that was unwieldy.

HSBC said it had increased its spending on compliance to more than $400 million last year, more than double its $200 million in 2010.

Behind the problems the bank had shown "a pretty good set of numbers" and quick execution on his strategy, said Gulliver.

The bank reported a statutory pretax profit of $12.7 billion for the six months to the end of June, up 11 percent on the year and above an average analyst forecast of $12.5 billion, according to a poll by the company.

Its investment bank's profit rose 5 percent on the year to $5 billion, faring better than rivals in a tough market where activity has been hit by the euro zone crisis.

Costs represented 57.5 percent of income, similar to the past year and above Gulliver's 52 percent target.

(Additional reporting by Sarah White and Raji Menon; Editing by David Stamp)

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/hsbc-faces-u-compliance-issues-libor-scrutiny-014602913--finance.html

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Modern culture 44,000 years ago

Modern culture 44,000 years ago Could not connect to DB: 1040: Too many connectionsCould not execute 'UPDATE pressrelease SET r_hits = r_hits+ 1, r_total_hits = r_total_hits+ 1, r_pub_hits = r_pub_hits+ 1, r_total_pub_hits = r_total_pub_hits+ 1 WHERE r_id = 217865' on database eurekalert:
2002: Can't connect to local MySQL server through socket '/tmp/mysql.sock' (2) [ Back to EurekAlert! ] Public release date: 30-Jul-2012
[ | E-mail | Share Share ]

Contact: Erna van Wyk
erna.vanwyk@wits.ac.za
27-117-174-023
University of the Witwatersrand

Human behavior, as we know it, emerged earlier than previously thought

An international team of researchers, including scientists from Wits University, have substantially increased the age at which we can trace the emergence of modern culture, all thanks to the San people of Africa.

The research by the team, consisting of scientists from South Africa, France, Italy, Norway, the USA and Britain, will be published in two articles online in the prestigious journal, Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, today at 19:00 South African Standard Time.

The paper titled Early evidence of San material culture represented by organic artifacts from Border Cave, South Africa was authored by Francesco d'Errico, Lucinda Backwell, Paola Villa, Ilaria Degano, Jeannette Lucejko, Marion Bamford, Thomas Higham, Maria Perla Colombini, and Peter Beaumont.

Doctor Backwell is a senior researcher in palaeoanthropology, and Professor Bamford a palaeobotanist at the Bernard Price Institute for Paleontological Research at Wits University.

"The dating and analysis of archaeological material discovered at Border Cave in South Africa, has allowed us to demonstrate that many elements of material culture that characterise the lifestyle of San hunter-gatherers in southern Africa, were part of the culture and technology of the inhabitants of this site 44,000 years ago," says Backwell.

A key question in human evolution is when in prehistory human cultures similar to ours emerged? Until now, most archaeologists believed that the oldest traces of San hunter-gatherer culture in southern Africa dates back 10,000, or at most 20,000 years.

The international team of researchers, led by Francesco d'Errico, Director of Research at the French National Research Centre, dated and directly analysed objects from archaeological layers at Border Cave.

Located in the foothills of the Lebombo Mountains in KwaZulu-Natal, South Africa, the site has yielded exceptionally well-preserved organic material.

Backwell says their results have shown without a doubt that at around 44,000 years ago the people at Border Cave were using digging sticks weighted with perforated stones, like those traditionally used by the San.

"They adorned themselves with ostrich egg and marine shell beads, and notched bones for notational purposes. They fashioned fine bone points for use as awls and poisoned arrowheads. One point is decorated with a spiral groove filled with red ochre, which closely parallels similar marks that San make to identify their arrowheads when hunting," says Backwell.

Chemical analysis of residues on a wooden stick decorated with incisions reveals that, like San objects used for the same purpose, it was used to hold and carry a poison containing ricinoleic acid found in castor beans. This represents the earliest evidence for the use of poison.

A lump of beeswax, mixed with the resin of toxic Euphorbia, and possibly egg, was wrapped in vegetal fibres made from the inner bark of a woody plant. "This complex compound used for hafting arrowheads or tools, directly dated to 40,000 years ago, is the oldest known evidence of the use of beeswax," says Backwell.

Warthog tusks were shaped into awls and possibly spear heads. The use of small pieces of stone to arm hunting weapons is confirmed by the discovery of resin residue still adhering to some of the tools, which chemical analysis has identified as a suberin (waxy substance) produced from the sap of Podocarpus (yellowwood) trees.

The study of stone tools discovered in the same archaeological layers as the organic remains, and from older deposits, shows a gradual evolution in stone tool technology. Organic artifacts, unambiguously reminiscent of San material culture, appear relatively abruptly, highlighting an apparent mismatch in rates of cultural change. This finding supports the view that what we perceive today as "modern behaviour" is the result of non-linear trajectories that may be better understood when documented at a regional scale.

Another paper, titled Border Cave and the Beginning of the Later Stone Age in South Africa will also be published today. The authors are Paola Villa, Sylvain Soriano, Tsenka Tsanova, Ilaria Degano, Thomas Higham, Francesco d'Errico, Lucinda Backwell, Jeannette J. Luceiko, Maria Perla Colombini and Peter Beaumont.

###

Issued by: Erna van Wyk, Communications Officer, University of the Witwatersrand, Johannesburg.

For images, background material or video clips, contact:

Tel: +27 11 717 4023
Cell: +27 82 399 6574
Email: erna.vanwyk@wits.ac.za
Web: www.wits.ac.za/ihe

Interviews:

Dr Lucinda Backwell
Cell: +27 76 382 97 70
Email: lucinda.backwell@wits.ac.za

Prof. Marion Bamford (Note to journalists: She is currently in East Africa)
Email: marion.bamford@wits.ac.za

Prof. Francesco d'Errico
Cell: +33 5 40 00 26 28; +33 6 04 15 54 54
Email: f.derrico@pacea.u-bordeaux1.fr



[ Back to EurekAlert! ] [ | E-mail | Share Share ]

?


AAAS and EurekAlert! are not responsible for the accuracy of news releases posted to EurekAlert! by contributing institutions or for the use of any information through the EurekAlert! system.


Modern culture 44,000 years ago Could not connect to DB: 1040: Too many connectionsCould not execute 'UPDATE pressrelease SET r_hits = r_hits+ 1, r_total_hits = r_total_hits+ 1, r_pub_hits = r_pub_hits+ 1, r_total_pub_hits = r_total_pub_hits+ 1 WHERE r_id = 217865' on database eurekalert:
2002: Can't connect to local MySQL server through socket '/tmp/mysql.sock' (2) [ Back to EurekAlert! ] Public release date: 30-Jul-2012
[ | E-mail | Share Share ]

Contact: Erna van Wyk
erna.vanwyk@wits.ac.za
27-117-174-023
University of the Witwatersrand

Human behavior, as we know it, emerged earlier than previously thought

An international team of researchers, including scientists from Wits University, have substantially increased the age at which we can trace the emergence of modern culture, all thanks to the San people of Africa.

The research by the team, consisting of scientists from South Africa, France, Italy, Norway, the USA and Britain, will be published in two articles online in the prestigious journal, Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, today at 19:00 South African Standard Time.

The paper titled Early evidence of San material culture represented by organic artifacts from Border Cave, South Africa was authored by Francesco d'Errico, Lucinda Backwell, Paola Villa, Ilaria Degano, Jeannette Lucejko, Marion Bamford, Thomas Higham, Maria Perla Colombini, and Peter Beaumont.

Doctor Backwell is a senior researcher in palaeoanthropology, and Professor Bamford a palaeobotanist at the Bernard Price Institute for Paleontological Research at Wits University.

"The dating and analysis of archaeological material discovered at Border Cave in South Africa, has allowed us to demonstrate that many elements of material culture that characterise the lifestyle of San hunter-gatherers in southern Africa, were part of the culture and technology of the inhabitants of this site 44,000 years ago," says Backwell.

A key question in human evolution is when in prehistory human cultures similar to ours emerged? Until now, most archaeologists believed that the oldest traces of San hunter-gatherer culture in southern Africa dates back 10,000, or at most 20,000 years.

The international team of researchers, led by Francesco d'Errico, Director of Research at the French National Research Centre, dated and directly analysed objects from archaeological layers at Border Cave.

Located in the foothills of the Lebombo Mountains in KwaZulu-Natal, South Africa, the site has yielded exceptionally well-preserved organic material.

Backwell says their results have shown without a doubt that at around 44,000 years ago the people at Border Cave were using digging sticks weighted with perforated stones, like those traditionally used by the San.

"They adorned themselves with ostrich egg and marine shell beads, and notched bones for notational purposes. They fashioned fine bone points for use as awls and poisoned arrowheads. One point is decorated with a spiral groove filled with red ochre, which closely parallels similar marks that San make to identify their arrowheads when hunting," says Backwell.

Chemical analysis of residues on a wooden stick decorated with incisions reveals that, like San objects used for the same purpose, it was used to hold and carry a poison containing ricinoleic acid found in castor beans. This represents the earliest evidence for the use of poison.

A lump of beeswax, mixed with the resin of toxic Euphorbia, and possibly egg, was wrapped in vegetal fibres made from the inner bark of a woody plant. "This complex compound used for hafting arrowheads or tools, directly dated to 40,000 years ago, is the oldest known evidence of the use of beeswax," says Backwell.

Warthog tusks were shaped into awls and possibly spear heads. The use of small pieces of stone to arm hunting weapons is confirmed by the discovery of resin residue still adhering to some of the tools, which chemical analysis has identified as a suberin (waxy substance) produced from the sap of Podocarpus (yellowwood) trees.

The study of stone tools discovered in the same archaeological layers as the organic remains, and from older deposits, shows a gradual evolution in stone tool technology. Organic artifacts, unambiguously reminiscent of San material culture, appear relatively abruptly, highlighting an apparent mismatch in rates of cultural change. This finding supports the view that what we perceive today as "modern behaviour" is the result of non-linear trajectories that may be better understood when documented at a regional scale.

Another paper, titled Border Cave and the Beginning of the Later Stone Age in South Africa will also be published today. The authors are Paola Villa, Sylvain Soriano, Tsenka Tsanova, Ilaria Degano, Thomas Higham, Francesco d'Errico, Lucinda Backwell, Jeannette J. Luceiko, Maria Perla Colombini and Peter Beaumont.

###

Issued by: Erna van Wyk, Communications Officer, University of the Witwatersrand, Johannesburg.

For images, background material or video clips, contact:

Tel: +27 11 717 4023
Cell: +27 82 399 6574
Email: erna.vanwyk@wits.ac.za
Web: www.wits.ac.za/ihe

Interviews:

Dr Lucinda Backwell
Cell: +27 76 382 97 70
Email: lucinda.backwell@wits.ac.za

Prof. Marion Bamford (Note to journalists: She is currently in East Africa)
Email: marion.bamford@wits.ac.za

Prof. Francesco d'Errico
Cell: +33 5 40 00 26 28; +33 6 04 15 54 54
Email: f.derrico@pacea.u-bordeaux1.fr



[ Back to EurekAlert! ] [ | E-mail | Share Share ]

?


AAAS and EurekAlert! are not responsible for the accuracy of news releases posted to EurekAlert! by contributing institutions or for the use of any information through the EurekAlert! system.


Source: http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2012-07/uotw-mc4072712.php

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Celeb Parents Offer Support for Boobie-Palooza

On Aug 5 celebrities will join together with the public in L.A. for Boobie Palooza, a special event geared toward shining light on the benefits of breastfeeding.

Source: http://feeds.celebritybabies.com/~r/celebrity-babies/~3/I05HwYzza4s/

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How To Make Plane Flight Travel Be Less Stressful | articlereference ...

Traveling by train can be a fun alternative to driving or flying. Many trains have an observation car, where you can sit back and take in the passing countryside. Trains also make stops at different railroad stations, which is a great opportunity to explore a new place. Dining in the dining cars is a fun and different experience. You are seated with other passengers, so it is a great opportunity to mingle and make new travel companions.

A great travel tip if you?re planning on taking a cruise it to book a room with a balcony. Even though a room with a balcony is a bit more expensive, it?s definitely worth it. There?s nothing more romantic than gazing at the open sea from your own balcony.

One decision you need to make when taking a trip is whether to buy travel insurance at all. If you are flying to New York and the ticket only costs $150, it?s not really worth paying another $50 to cover that trip in case of cancellation. However, if you are taking the trip of your dreams to a faraway place, it might be well worth the incremental expense on a $4,000 vacation to know that your money won?t be lost in the event of a cancellation.

If your children are old enough, involve them in planning your next vacation. Allow each child to pick at least one activity that you will all enjoy together. Involving the children will instantly make them more interested in the vacation. They will have something to look forward to and feel like a true part of the family team.

When you are traveling overseas, try searching for souvenirs in unusual places. It has become increasingly difficult to find souvenirs that were made at the place you are visiting. Try looking in supermarkets, stationery shops and hardware stores. You will find things that people in the area actually use and the packaging will be unique to your destination.

Don?t make plans with the airlines the day you go or later. Instead, try calling them the night before to reconfirm your flight is still scheduled or to see if it?s overbooked. Give yourself at least a half hour to get to the airport. Also save time by checking in at home and pre-printing your boarding passes.

Now, are you excited? Hopefully, you found a tip or two that will make you travel a pleasant experience the next time you go! No doubt, planning and being prepared will contribute to a successful time. If you are treating yourself, loved one, or family member to a fun trip, enjoy the break! If you are traveling for business, remember to take time to sit back and relax a little too! Have a safe trip!

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Source: http://articlereference.net/travel-leisure/how-to-make-plane-flight-travel-be-less-stressful.html

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LeBron James offers sneak peek to NBA play in Olympics

Jul 29, 2012; London, United Kingdom; USA forward LeBron James (6) during the men's basketball preliminary against France during the 2012 London Olympic Games at the Basketball Arena. Mandatory Credit: Bob Donnan-USA TODAY Sports

LeBron James' passing catalyzed Team USA's surge to pull away against France in the opening Olympic game Sunday. He made a spectacular bounce-pass to a streaking Kevin Durant in the opening minutes, but found players open for dunks and 3-point shots to lengthen the Team USA lead later in the game. James was especially effective at passing out of the post, which he easily did when he met Tony Parker on a switch. In the end, James dominated the game with just six shot attempts. He registered a team-high eight assists in just 25 minutes of playing time, emerging as the playmaker on a team with Chris Paul and Deron Williams.

Did the best basketball player on the planet offer a sneak peek into how he'll play with the Miami Heat this upcoming season? While it's safe to say that James will attempt more than six shots when he has "Miami" emblazoned on his jersey instead of "USA," the spacing Team USA provided with some of its lineups could certainly resemble the Heat's style of play this season.

Reigning Defensive Player of the Year Tyson Chandler is the only true center on this team, yet only played 11 minutes. Although his absence in the first quarter allowed Tony Parker to drive into the lane with impunity, Team USA becomes such a high-octane offensive team when Kevin Love or even James plays as the de facto five. (As an aside, Chris Bosh would've added a lot to Team USA if he played this summer. He anchored Miami's defense in the 2012 Finals and provides a diverse offensive repertoire. Neither Chandler nor Love is a two-way player).

Star-divide

The Heat will have a two-way big man when the season begins Oct. 30, however. And although Chris Bosh will likely play less of the five in the regular season than he will in the playoffs, Miami will still use lineups with him as the pivot before the postseason. The Heat will be able to run offense similar to that of Team USA against France. James will have the ball in his hands with a few players with a few dead-eye 3-point shooters waiting for the pass. Miami did that in the Finals, but Bosh's playoff injury prevented the team from running that in other rounds. It may be Ray Allen taking the open 3 instead of Durant. It may be Rashard Lewis running the pick-and-pop instead of Love. The Heat don't have the depth that Team USA has, but they're a damn good team. As strange as this sounds, Miami's shooting guard - Dwyane Wade - was the worst shooter on the team's starting lineup in the Finals. And that was before the Heat added Allen and Lewis.

Sports fans saw great basketball Sunday morning. What should make other teams tremble is the fact that the Miami Heat have the potential to play that type of great basketball night-in, night-out.

Source: http://www.hothothoops.com/2012/7/29/3200583/lebron-james-offers-sneak-peak-to-nba-play-in-olympics

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Sunday, July 29, 2012

Great-tasting Vegetarian Recipes To Enjoy | Food & Drink - Ballard ...

You are here: Home / Recipes / Great-tasting Vegetarian Recipes To Enjoy



In the strictest sense, a vegetarian is someone who will not eat meat.? The several types of vegetarians develop twist for this definition.? The forms are semi-vegetarian, the pesco-vegetarian, the lacto-ovo vegetarian, the ovo-vegetarian and the vegan.? The standards vary around the meals that every single kind of vegetarian eats.? Even so, one thing is certain; the vegetarian recipes usually do not involve red meat.

A vegetarian normally eats foods that come from plants.? The semi-vegetarian feeds on fish and chicken meat while the pesco-vegetarian eats exclusively fish meat.? The lacto-ovo vegetarian consumes no meat and yet eats dairy products together with eggs.? The ovo-vegetarian will not eat meat neither dairy products and yet consumes eggs.? The vegan does not take in meat or animal products in any respect.? This tends to make a vegan the ?real vegetarian?.

Extra peoplebecome semi-vegetarians for wellness motives.? Semi-vegetarians are much less most likely to have hypertension or diabetes.? The probability of becoming obese can also be unlikely to happen.? In these contemporary times, there?s a very low risk of most cancers because of semi-vegetarian diet plan.? Some vegetarians have develop into such due to their advocacies that concerns animals and the environment.? Yet, some are vegetarians due to cultural or spiritual convictions.

A semi-vegetarian can nonetheless get pleasure from several different great-tasting food.? Remember that the sole meat he will not consume is pork.? Chicken and fish meat is usually superior substitutes.? As an alternative to obtaining beef tostadas, he can possess a serving of grilled chicken tostadas.He can nonetheless delight in fried rice and ensure it is much healthier with tofu, snow peas, carrots and peanuts maximizing each of the flavors with garlic, ginger together with soy sauce.

If he craves for Italian recipe, there is certainly ?Pasta, Beans and Tomatoes? recipe.? If desires American food, bean burgers might be terrific.? Salad Skewers with Tarragon Vinaigrette with yellow and orange peppers, cucumbers, zucchini and cherry tomatoes can go properly with grilled fish.? For dessert, a Semi-Sweet Chocolate Glaze is just certainly one of the selections obtainable.? The checklist can go on and there is usually one thing new to try.

There is certainly no limitation on how the meals will taste.? Every vegetarian recipe is much healthier meals to eat.Soy products, beans together with nuts are very good sources of healthy proteins.? Employ olive oil in cooking as well as on garlic bread.? Substitute regular mayonnaise with vegan mayonnaise that will come in a wide variety of flavors.If you?re thinking of of turning out to be a semi-vegetarian, usually do not have second thoughts.? Keep in mind that vegetarian recipes will make it easier to delight in your favorite food.? It even provides you the bonus of superior wellness.

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Source: http://www.theyellowads.com/food_drink/great-tasting-vegetarian-recipes-to-enjoy

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Thursday, July 26, 2012

UK workers cash in on Olympics with strike threats

Jim Seida / NBC News

A commuter waits for a bus at London Bridge Station on Tuesday. In June, two-thirds of London's 8,000 red buses were off the road because of a one-day strike by thousands of drivers.

By Ian Johnston, NBC News

LONDON -- For some, the Olympic Games represent the epitome of sporting achievement and fair play, and a noble set of ideals that help inspire humanity to dream of a better world.

But if you are a driver of one of London?s famous red buses, it should mean about $900 extra in your paycheck.?And if you are a British worker who isn?t getting a coveted Olympics bonus, it means you might just go on strike just to make the point that you?re not happy.

Then there are those for whom the Games is an ideal time to raise a grievance over pay, pensions or working conditions, in the hope that the threat of industrial unrest -- as the world focuses its attention on the U.K. -- will speed the negotiations along.

Labor unions in Britain may have been relatively quiet over the government?s austerity policies, but the arrival of the Olympics has given them the chance to flex their muscles in a way that some see as far from sporting.


On Thursday -- the day before the London 2012?opening ceremony -- thousands of government workers, including Border Agency guards at airports, are due to go on strike for 24 hours in a dispute over pay and other issues. Marianna Panizza, a senior press officer at Heathrow Airport, said in an email that so far?"immigration waiting times [were] well within their targets," adding that "We hope this will continue through the strike action."

More London 2012 coverage from NBCNews.com

Then on Friday, RMT union members at South West Trains, which runs services into London, will stop working overtime or coming in on rest days until Aug. 12 because they have not been offered an Olympic bonus.

Visitors arriving in London for the start of the Games should be extra careful with their possessions, as unionized staff in the lost property office at Transport for London ? the?company that runs the city's Tube subway network ? have been told not to?work shifts from 7 a.m. Friday until 7 a.m. Saturday.?That also goes for staff at Transport for London?s travel information centers and the London Transport Museum.

'A question of fairness'
A dispute over Olympic payments could also disrupt London?s so-called ?Boris Bikes? ? bicycles available to hire cheaply on the street ? from early Friday to Sunday morning.

London Olympics: 8,000-mile torch relay around the U.K.

Jim Seida / NBC News

Geoff Martin, a spokesman for the RMT union, defended workers seeking a slice of the Olympic ?windfall.?

?It?s a question of fairness,? he told NBCNews.com. ?The vast majority of our members have got them [Olympic bonuses] ? if it is right for those members to get a share of the additional profits companies will generate ? which they will ? why shouldn?t staff working in other companies benefit as well??

Martin said 80,000 extra passengers a day were expected to use South West Trains services, meaning more work for staff.

?The point is, this is a unique set of circumstances. It?s the biggest transport challenge London has ever faced,? he added.

Martin said most transport companies had been ?very reasonable? and agreed to let workers get their ?fair share of the windfall.?

Ramadan set to cause 'traffic chaos' near London's Olympic site?

Quite how many more people, if any, will visit the London Transport Museum -- home to such attractions as the 1866 Metropolitan Railway A class 4-4-0T steam locomotive (number 23) ? because of the Olympics remains to be seen.

Last month, two-thirds of London?s 8,000 red buses were off the road because of a one-day strike by thousands of drivers.

The show of strength appears to have worked as last week saw the drivers get their deal. Staff will get an extra payment of about $42 a shift, which will mean an extra $895 or so over the period of the Games for the average worker.

Olivia Harris / Reuters, file

London bus drivers stand on a picket line near the West Ham Bus Garage in east London on June 22.

'Ambassadors for London'
A spokesman for the Unite union, which represents drivers and other workers, told NBC News that they were entitled to the extra money because of the ?massive increase in passengers, the increase in traffic.?

?They?ll end up working longer and finishing their shifts later,? the spokesman said.? ?They have to manage the entire bus; they have to often help passengers; they have more demands on them from passengers; they have to help a lot of people who don?t speak English.

?Our members are going to be ambassadors for London. They are going to be keeping London moving during the Olympics,? he added. ?In such exceptional circumstances, they should have their extra contribution recognized financially ? they shouldn?t have to be doing extra work for free.?

33 Team USA athletes to watch in London

Some 450 members of the Aslef union who work at East Midlands Trains also plan to strike on Aug. 6, 7, and 8, in a dispute over pensions.

Tony Travers, of the London School of Economics, told London?s Evening Standard newspaper?that transport unions had the government and Olympic organizers ?over a barrel.?

?With an extra three million rail and [subway] journeys expected during the Games, there will be queuing at stations and dreadful congestion on trains. If the bus drivers were on strike, it is hard to imagine how bad it might get,? he said.

This family's Olympic odyssey involves bikes, satellite dish -- and reindeer pelts

But Travers also warned the unions might pay a price after London 2012 if the government decided to take revenge with ?tough anti-strike laws.?

As the opening ceremony of the Olympics approaches, London is covering its bases with an influx of security forces on the ground, in the air and in the water. But officials still worry about the possibility of a 'soft target,' such as an attack on a bus, that would have a huge emotional impact on the city. NBC's Stephanie Gosk reports.

'Ronald Reagan approach'
Thursday's planned strike by Border Agency and other government staff has caused considerable anger.

U.K. government Cabinet member Jeremy Hunt told the BBC Sunday that some members of the government had considered what he described as the ?Ronald Reagan approach? of firing the striking public workers.

"I can tell you amongst [government] ministers there have been people asking whether we should be doing that, but I don't want to escalate things by talking about that right now, because I know amongst those 600 people there are lots of people who want to do the right thing and turn up for work," he told Radio 5 Live.

Troops everywhere, long lines and moans: A very British Olympic Games

Matthew Sinclair, director of the TaxPayers? Alliance campaign group, was equally appalled, saying ordinary people would be ?disgusted? at the union?s attempt to ?disrupt the Olympics when the world?s eyes will be focused on Britain.?

A newly-redesigned version of London's iconic red bus may have sleek curves, but at $36,000 per seat are they worth the price?

?We must not allow a selfish minority to disrupt the Olympics in a vain attempt to stop necessary restraint in public spending, and make the Games even more expensive for hard-pressed taxpayers,? he added.

But not all unions are taking advantage of the authorities? precarious position on Travers? barrel.

A spokesman for the Transport Salaried Staffs' Association said the union had decided to cancel a strike ballot at Virgin Trains over the sacking of a union official.

He said this was partly due to an agreement to negotiate but also because of a plea by Transport Secretary Justine Greening for the Olympics not to be disrupted by industrial action "in the greater interest of the country."

Lit by the sun's rays in Greece, the Olympic torch takes a 70-day, 8,000 mile trip to London for the 2012 summer Games.

More London 2012 coverage:

Source: http://worldnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/07/24/12905064-bonus-bonanza-british-workers-cash-in-on-olympics-with-strike-threats?lite

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Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Citing global anxiety, DuPont gets cautious on 2012

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Source: http://news.yahoo.com/citing-global-anxiety-dupont-gets-cautious-2012-152404604--finance.html

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Tuesday, July 24, 2012

7 Sexy Fragrances For Every Summer Date [PHOTOS] | YourTango

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Spritz on a flirty fragrance this summer!

The perfect perfume, no matter your date-night style.

It's Friday night. Your lips are glossy, your hair is de-frizzed and fabulous, and you've found the perfect outfit. Now all you have to figure out is the right perfume to wear on that hot date. It has to make a bold statement for a sexy evening, yet can't be too overpowering lest you'll undermine the lightness of the season. Lucky for you, we've compiled a list of fragrances fit for all your romantic summer nights!

After all, according to our?Irresistible You (IY) survey, the number-one item that makes women feel irresistible isn't lip gloss or bronzer?? those are the no-brainers we would have imagined to top the list. A full 27 percent of women said it's perfume that makes them feel the hottest, followed by mascara (26 percent), eye shadow (25 percent) and lipstick (17 percent). Only 3 percent answered "bronzer," and 2 percent said "blush." So spritz on one of these sexy, irresistible fragrances?? you're sure to find one that will match your personality.

PHOTO GALLERY:?7 Irresistible Perfumes For Sexy Summer Evenings

For a limited time only, receive our free eBook, Irresistible You (a $5 value), yours free when you sign up for YourTango's free, daily newsletter.

Get even more insights and expert advice about how to feel irresistible at any love stage!

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AT&T posts Q2 results: 1.3 M net adds, 5.1 M smartphone sales

AT&T posts Q2 results: 1.3 M net adds, 5.1 M smartphone sales

AT&T posted their second quarter 2012 financial results today. 5.1 million smartphones were sold; subtract the 3.7 million iPhone activated, and you should get a pretty clear idea of how many Android devices were sold. There were 1.3 million net subscribers added. Here are the broad strokes.  

read more



Source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/androidcentral/~3/VLxrKndJjes/story01.htm

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Oil prices steady on stronger Chinese factory data

(AP) ? The price of oil is up slightly as China's manufacturing sector appeared to be getting stronger.

China's factories had been slowing this year, likely weakening energy demand within the world's No. 2 oil consumer. Fears of an extended slowdown in China, combined with Europe's ongoing debt crisis, pushed oil prices lower over the past few trading days.

Yet a survey of Chinese manufacturers by HSBC suggests that factory activity has rebounded to its highest level in nine months.

Benchmark U.S. crude added 48 cents to $88.62 per barrel in New York while Brent crude added 38 cents to $103.64 per barrel in London.

At the pump, retail U.S. gasoline prices added nearly a penny to $3.477 per gallon.

Associated Press

Source: http://hosted2.ap.org/APDEFAULT/f70471f764144b2fab526d39972d37b3/Article_2012-07-24-Oil%20Prices/id-2694a4f2b1334922a2e56084c1001235

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Stockton made scant headway in U.S. pre-bankruptcy talks

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Source: http://news.yahoo.com/stockton-made-scant-headway-u-pre-bankruptcy-talks-112038180.html

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Friday, July 20, 2012

Why Multilevel Marketing Online Business Is Rising | myadaily.com

Robert T. Kiyosaki defined the financial situation of every individual in the book Cash flow Quadrant. Individuals financial the weather is split into four quadrants: E (Worker), S (Self-employed), B (Business Proprietor) and that i (Investor). It?s a wish of everybody to boost their financial situation when they are inside the E (Worker) quadrant or perhaps in the S (self-employed) quadrant. Multilevel Marketing Online Business may be the right solution for regular individuals to proceed to B (Business Proprietor) quadrant rapidly. It?s without doubt that multilevel marketing online business or Multilevel marketing online business is rising because of these 5 fundamental causes

1. Wellness Trend. Due to hectic existence, the current sickness is rising. People eat quick food more than slow food and also the effects are illness. Fatigue, unhealthy cholesterol level, depression, hypertension, weight problems are simply couple of good examples of contemporary illness. Individuals are searching for wellness solutions. They have to remain healthy, more youthful and delightful. They?re very particular to select health or wellness items. Their option is natural items. The majority of Multilevel marketing information mill in wellness business plus they respond well to provide wellness solutions for individuals. 2. An Upswing of just living Cost. An upswing of just living cost and also the unpredictable economy push individuals to spend less in order to earn more. If folks choose to earn extra, they?ve 2 options: part-time job or part-time business. Part-time business promises extra earnings than part-time job. The income of part-time business is sort of a back-up, aside from their earnings in primary business or daytime job. Many professionals or educated people search for fast start business online. Multilevel marketing online business is recognized as an ideal business design simply because they get good system, good items along with a website instantly. All they have to do is to pay attention to marketing. 3. The Revolution of Internet and Social Networking Online. The web and social networking online bring people together. People can interact with each other across nations. Online payment gateway brings enterprise into online business. Social networking online does not only become the social networking platform but the marketing media platform for just about any dimensions of businesses. Facebook fan web site is a demonstration of common marketing platforms for business to collect fans or fans. 4. The Emerge of recent Multilevel Marketing Companies. The emerge of latest multilevel marketing firms which integrate the condition art of technology, expertise and internet streamline the operation. This enables marketers to construct their group globally since the registration and administration are performed instantly. The completely new Multilevel marketing online business company provides an individual web site to each brand partner or distributor to allow them to market their enterprise individually online. 5. Celebs and Experts Endorse Multilevel Marketing. Jesse Trump and Robert T. Kiyosaki suggested network marketing or Multilevel marketing internet enterprise for regular individuals to begin-up a company.

Using the five causes above, people who?ve been within the conventional home business must learn to the completely new approach of using this method business on the internet. Those who have internet abilities for example Internet entrepreneurs, affiliate entrepreneurs or skilled writers have benefits and they are considering Multilevel marketing online business which rewards potential existence-altering earnings. Multilevel marketing online business is incorporated in the exponential growth also it becomes the popularity of economic these days as portrayed within the latest Robert T. Kiyosaki book Business from the twenty-first century.

Source: http://myadaily.com/why-multilevel-marketing-online-business-is-rising/

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Thursday, July 19, 2012

Margaret Paul, Ph.D.: How to Tell if It's Real Love - Huffington Post

"Something extraordinary has happened!" said Chad in a phone session with me. Chad is 52 and recently divorced from a long marriage. "You know how much I've longed for an intimate and connected relationship, and you know how lonely I was in my marriage because Rachael wasn't open. Well, I was traveling back on the plane from the East Coast where I was on business and I happened to sit next to a really interesting older woman. We chatted the whole trip and at the end, she told me she wanted to introduce me to a very good friend of hers. She thought we would really like each other.

"Leila and I started an intense email correspondence and now we are talking a lot on the phone. We haven't even met in person yet, and we both feel in love! I haven't felt this way in years, maybe never. Is this real?"

Maybe -- and maybe not. The feelings Chad feels are certainly real. He feels close and connected with Leila because they are both being very openhearted with each other. They are being vulnerable and honest, letting each other in on their deepest desires and fears.

Jekyll and Hyde -- The Core Self and the Wounded Self

Chad has fallen in love with what he knows about Leila's core self, her true beautiful essence, and she has fallen in love with what she knows about his core self. But neither of them has any idea of who the other person is when their ego-wounded self is in charge.

We all have a wounded self -- our ego -- that we developed as we were growing up, to protect us from pain. Our wounded self becomes activated when we get scared -- scared of rejection, of engulfment, of being hurt. Our wounded self has learned many controlling ways to protect against pain, such as anger, blame, compliance, withdrawal, resistance, defensiveness.

Chad and Leila have no idea yet what the other person does in conflict or when his or her fears get triggered. Chad spent 25 years in a marriage with Rachael, who was not only harsh and judgmental when her fears got activated, but who was emotionally closed and withdrawn most of the time, which created a lack of intimacy and connection. Chad's way of protecting and controlling has been to be in his head, disconnected from his feelings, defending and trying to convince Rachael to open to him. He finally gave up and ended their marriage.

Is the Other's Wounded Self Tolerable to You?

Chad cannot know whether or not Leila's wounded self is tolerable to him until they have a chance to spend enough time together to have conflict. Chad knows that while he might shut down or get defensive for a short time, he generally opens within a half hour. But what does Leila do? Does she get angry or withdrawn, and stay angry or withdrawn for hours or days, never opening to exploring the issue? Will she project her own issues onto Chad, not taking responsibility for her own feelings? Will she go along with Chad to avoid conflict, but then feel angry that she has given herself up? Will she turn to various addictions -- food, drugs, alcohol, nicotine -- to avoid her feelings? Will she punish him with attacks on his character, or by disappearing for days at a time?

No one really likes or loves another's wounded self. It's not the lovable part of each of us. It's actually up to each of us to get to know our own ego-wounded self with a compassionate intent to learn about our wounds and triggers, so that we can gradually heal this aspect of ourselves. But while we will not like the other's wounded self, their wounded self needs to be tolerable to us. We need to accept this part of another if love is going to flourish. Obviously, if Chad finds out that Leila gets enraged or completely shut down, or turns to some form of substance abuse, and stays closed and unavailable for days at a time, this is not going to be acceptable to him.

Chad cannot know what Leila is going to do, and Leila cannot know what Chad is going to do, until they go through some significant conflicts. No matter what they say about themselves in emails or on the phone, they cannot experience the other's wounded self until they come up against their fears.

As the old saying goes, "Love is blind." Hopefully, neither Chad nor Leila will be blind to each other's wounded self -- blind to the red flags that may be there in the early days of their relationship. Hopefully, neither will think they can change or heal the other's wounded self. Hopefully, they will be honest with themselves regarding whether or not the other's wounded self is completely acceptable to each of them as they currently are. While each of them can learn and grow as a result of the relationship and of their own inner work, neither can change the other, and there are never guarantees of change.

So are they in love with each other? Well, yes and no. They already love what they know of each other's core self, but they don't yet know if each other's wounded self is acceptable to each of them. Only time and working through fear and conflict will tell.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a relationship expert, best-selling author, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding? healing process, recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette, and featured on Oprah. To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse, receive Free Help, and take our 12-Week eCourse, "The Intimate Relationship Toolbox" - the first two weeks are free!

Connect with Margaret on Facebook.

For more by Margaret Paul, Ph.D., click here.

For more on relationships, click here.

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Follow Margaret Paul, Ph.D. on Twitter: www.twitter.com/innerbonding

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Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/margaret-paul-phd/relationship-advice_b_1675796.html

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